Block out the noise

Society and media will always paint a picture to us of what we should look like. Check out this story about how Julie Rose decided to block out the noise that once forced her to judge herself and in doing so managed to over come her eating disorder.

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As a Rhodes student currently living in res, I can understand the problematic debate of res vs. digs. Personally, I prefer the creature comforts of living in res like having your meals handed to you (granted they are not always the best), the sense of security and the life-long friendships made. Keeping in mind that university is where you find your bridesmaid, not your groom!

Much Love

Jovy-wovy

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I am a Rhodes University Journalism and media studies student. I am currently in my first year of studying. In our course we have to create a blog which we work on as an assignment. Our blog contains posts of comments, opinions, problems and issues of our first year experiences at University. I was interested to see that your blog is very similar to ours. You are bracing yourself for your year at university and blogging about inspirations, budgeting and other issues concerning university life. I believe that your blog will be of interest to many other university students as I have really enjoyed reading your blog and have found it very interesting and useful.

Not all first years are treated with disrespect...

To a certain extent I do understand your argument about first year Rhodes students being disrespected by those higher than them, but at the same time I believe that you are making a huge generalisation. When I arrived at Rhodes, at the beginning of the year, I immediately felt welcomed by the older students as well as the lecturers and tutors. The older students in my residence soon became my friends along with my new found first year friends and they never made me feel inferior. Owing to the older students, my friends and I were soon able to call Rhodes a second home, as they constantly showed us around and introduced us to new people. Theses friendships are still strong. As for my tutors and lecturers, I still find them extremely approachable and willing to help me whenever I need it. I have never felt intimidated or looked down upon by them. I do however understand that I may just be lucky to have had such pleasant experiences with those higher than me. I do agree that not all students have had the same experiences as I have, but I certainly won’t carry on this vicious cycle of treating first years with disrespect.

The Bubble

Having come from a town smaller than Grahamstown, I thought that I would settle into the small community life of Rhodes without any problems. Orientation week and the whole of the first term proved to be an amazing experience and went beyond all my expectations. I relished on the thrill of exploring my new found surrounding, which included the most exciting and fun filled nights out, while making the renowned ‘Rat and Parrot’ one of my local and frequent destinations. My friendships with my wonderful, unique and amazing new found friends were growing stronger by the day. The students, the atmosphere and Rhodes life soon found a special place in my heart.

However, as soon as the excitement and thrill of the new surroundings from the first term had come and gone, life at Rhodes continued to be special, but I soon noticed that something was missing. I realised that I was living right in the middle of a bubble, and a very small bubble at that. This was a very strange and uncomfortable living condition. The ‘bubble’ was thick, hazy and yet had a delicate view on the outside world. I was living in ‘the big scary world’, yet the only world I now knew was that of Rhodes University.

This ‘bubble’ is not only seen by me but also by many of my fellow students. It is frustrating and leads to unfair assumptions that all Rhodes students do not care about politics and issues concerning South Africa and the outside world. It may be true that some students just do not care about their surroundings; however I believe that this statement cannot be generalised. There are many who do care, but the knowledge is not readily available, they have to go looking for it.

Rhodes students are confined to the small town of Grahamstown, and to make matters worse Grahamstown itself is located in the middle of nowhere. Therefore there is even more reason for students to be more aware of what is happening outside of Grahamstown. One would think, with Rhodes having the best Journalism department in South Africa, that the students would be well informed about the local and national issues concerning the country. However this is not the case, as I soon found out.

As I grew more and more comfortable with my surroundings I started to feel more excluded from the outside world. I and other students who share similar views to me feel there is a lack of knowledge owing to the little immediate media available to us. Yes it is true that there are well run campus newspapers available as well as the local newspaper; however I do not believe that these newspapers expose themselves to the students as much as they ought to. Even though I come from a small town in Kwa Zulu Natal our street lamps are always adorned with ‘The Witness’ headline posters, which inform me about the country’s current affairs. In Grahamstown I battle to spot a headline poster, if there are any at all.

We need to make Rhodes less of a ‘bubble’. I believe we can do this by using forms of communication such as something as simple as headline posters. The fact is that most students don’t want to go on a mission looking for information; they want it to be readily available to them. For example: a few days ago there was a mini hurricane, but I only managed to find this out from a friend who found out from a friend who lives in Port Elizabeth! Each residence is equipped with DSTV, however very few have a 24 hour news channel! The local newspapers should also start to include more national and international news.

The bubble in which I live has been punctured by my own initiative to seek information from different forms of media. I became feed up with finding out the news second to everyone else back home. However for those who don’t do this, their bubble is bursting to pop, and it just needs some help. Most students do care about current affairs; they just do not have it readily available to them. I believe that is is time to pop this ‘bubble’ before it becomes any smaller than it already is.

The "donkey's" opinion!

Just how shallow and petty some of the people in this world are is something that I have come to accept. Just how shallow I am, is something that shocks me time and time again. I like to think of myself as somebody that is not easily influenced and as somebody that can distance herself from the chaos of peer pressure and the mob mentality that is ever present in the daily life of a first year. If this is true, then why did I just join the gym?

The type of wisdom and advice that many young girls are given as they enter the new and exciting chapter of University is simply,

“Do not get fat! Avoid first year spread at all costs!”

This advice has turned out to be somewhat paradoxical, as at first glance it seems absurd, but when implemented into the life of a first year, is actually very “fitting”.This type of advice is actually very useful if you don’t want to be one of the Jan Smuts boys’ “donkeys”, in the “donkey races” that take place in the Smuts Dining Hall. Where each boy (and not all boys participate, obviously) chooses a girl/ “donkey” and bets that she will be the one that falls victim to the “first-year spread bulge”. It is key if you do not want to be gossiped about behind your back and ridiculed for putting on a few kg’s. Because you just might be the girl that contributes to a Smuts boys drinking fund when he wins big at a day at the donkey races.This piece of advice is essential if you intend to adopt the party lifestyle where the issue of weight is taken even more seriously and in order to “lunge” and be “lunged”, you had better fit into that size 8 mini.

Some people have found a way to justify their sordid opinion on the phenomenon of “first-year spread” by saying, and I quote a conversation I had with a Rhodes boy and friend of mine earlier this year, “First-year spread is disgusting, it is not about the weight, it is about the fact that it shows that the girl isn’t taking care of herself, stomach rolls are disgusting, I could never be with a girl that had stomach rolls”. And yes, I did rethink my friendship with this particular boy and yes; he is going to have a hard time finding a girl with the perfect stomach he requires, especially with that attitude!
Despite the illusion that Rhodes is a place filled with diverse, weird and wonderful people that are non-judgemental, the fact of the matter is that “first-year spread” is taken very seriously on the Rhodes campus and it is unacceptable to most. If you want to avoid being ostracized,

I suggest that you avoid toast, become a gym freak, start counting calories and
invest in an eating disorder!

It is possible that if less emphasis was placed on weight, and people focused their attention less on vanity and more on reality, this world, and university, just might be a better place. But on that note, I had better be off to the gym…

First year Woman often fall victim to eating disorders

Anxiety usually fills the air when the discussion of a young woman’s first year at varsity is raised. Stepping in to the unknown territory can be a very daunting experience and as creatures of emotion, we sometimes struggle to find a balance as we try to settle in to our new lifestyle. Academics, friends, social experience and love interests fill our timetables leaving us with almost no time or energy to concentrate and maintain, what is most important, the mind and body. Varsity sees the transition from girl to woman, and this for most is a fragile time. Many girls struggle to juggle emotion and pressure and somehow they drop the ball, falling victim to eating disorders.

‘First year spreads’ are one of the biggest fears for most girls as they embark on their first year at varsity. With all of the stress that first year and the adjustment of a new space brings it is easy to see why most girls find it so hard to maintain a healthy weight. Adjustment to me is thus the main factor; outside of the usual pressure that society places on woman to look a certain way. These social pressures seem all the more, harder to deal with, in circumstances of emotional uncertainty.Like any social structure, university demands for us to look and act in a particular way. This is not to say that these pressures are more extreme at varsity level or that they can’t be overcome. The pressures at varsity are just unique in the sense that individuals for the first time get to really make decisions about themselves based on what their own imitative. Having left the nest of one’s parents, students have a sense of freedom and it is up to them to create or adjust to the person they want to be or be perceived as. These mixed emotions thus, can create a very unstable mental environment and it is then easy to fall subject to disorder.

Eating disorders like any common illness are evident in the day to day lives of everyone in the world. Wether it be you, a friend or relative most of us struggle to maintain confidence about our body. None of us, especially when faced by, the pressure of first year can avoid experiencing some form of eating disorder, wether this be first or second hand. All of a sudden minor imperfections, which we all have by the way, leave us tumbling down a slippery slope to obsession.

Wether it be bulimia, anorexia or binge eating young woman seem to try and use their disorder to create a sense of control. Somehow society and the media has led woman to believe that in order to be in control and to have success we, must alter ourselves to the point of perfection. While perfection itself exists is debatable, I recon it is a myth, we all still fall subject to at least tying. “To be a success as a girl and then as a woman, I learned early that I was supposed to be obsessively self-centered, scrutinizing every pore, every gesture, every stray eyebrow hair, eradicating every flaw, enhancing every asset,” Susan J. Douglas writes in Where the Girls Are.

Usually, the time spent at varsity for most us, is a transition from girl to woman. Experience, age, mental and physical growth are all factors that come in to play as we make this conversion. A conversion which must be undergone, as we all need to learn to be confident with the person we are, physically and mentally. As young woman we must therefore, learn to support and encourage each other, while not forgetting to promote our individuality. We are not all, and most of us will never be, Heidi Klum’s. We are however all unique and it is vital that woman support each others individuality if we are to avoid insecurity and disorder.

La Schandre Coetzee

Warning all gym bunnies and health snackers

Eating disorders manifest in compulsive behaviour pertaining to diet and are common yet incontrovertibly misunderstood. Like all mental disorders, they are all encompassing, demanding attention in all areas of a sufferer’s life. This is especially true in a society that values youth, beauty and appearances. The most commonly diagnosed and well known disorders are Anorexia nervosa and Bulimia nervosa but the collection is far-reaching. Binge eating, Orthorexia nervosa and Compulsive exercising as not covered as extensively in the dialogue of our day to day lives and are therefore easier to disguise under a façade of euphemism. This appears to be apparent in many first year cases. Sometimes it’s called ‘stress’, ‘homesickness’, ‘dining hall food’ or ‘healthy living’ when it is really a tempestuous illness.

It is with caution that I approach this topic; my intention is not to offend. I do not claim that I know everything about eating disorders nor do I assume that all first years are afflicted with eating disorders. My opinion merely suggests that many of us are subliminal onlookers of the disconsolate symptoms and consequences of eating disorders. If not that, I do not feel that insufficient awareness of eating disorders is present on our campus.

As a first year girl, living in a residence with 70 other girls I have witnessed binge eating and purging; an obsession with exercise and manic obedience to a diet of healthy food. These are extreme cases that are less common, I am sure. However, less extreme but more common unhealthy eating habits are around on our campus. I have allowed myself to engage in fits of ‘eating my feelings’ and plummeted, relentlessly into notorious ‘first year spread’.

Perhaps you know what I am talking about. Staying up all night to finish an essay is incomplete without an assortment of late night snacks, dining hall food can be too greasy at times so the options are just a salad or nothing at all, toast smeared with butter and strawberry jam is delicious and another slice is always in order after a bad day. These eating habits are not necessarily dangerous but in the throes of stress, homesickness, competition and social pressure these habits can be pushed to the extreme and procure devastating consequences.

I know a girl that has been nicknamed for her love of working out which seems benign but can become dangerous if taken too far. I know another who hardly ate at all when she and her boyfriend ended their relationship and persisted to vomit the little she ate. Again, this abhorrent behaviour only lasted for a brief episode but is unhealthy if someone like this continues to deal with grief in this way throughout life. My suggestion is that similar support and awareness must be harnessed in addressing eating disorders as is evident in HIV awareness weeks and Cancer awareness weeks. This may make students take on a greater responsibility in the prevention of eating disorders as I believe that we as students should play a part in the well-being of our peers.

First year is demanding in all aspects of life and first year students come under a lot of pressure. When this pressure collides with unhealthy lifestyle choices like binge eating and obsessive exercising the result can lead to eating disorders. Girls on campus in midriff bearing tops with their hip bones and collar bones protruding or girls (and boys) spending a considerable time in the bathroom ridding their bodies of the last meal they ate may become more common. As eating disorders are all encompassing, other penalties may surface like slacking academically and becoming socially inept. Clearly, an eating disorder free first year is advisable in coping with the many pressures thrust upon the shoulders of first year students. Ironically, eating disorders can function as a defence mechanism and a form of escapism in dealing with the pressures of first year.

Eating disorders and unhealthy eating habits are a problem in first year but are not well recognised for various reasons like the lack in awareness on our campus. A greater effort must be made to help students deal with issues like homesickness and academic stress. Furthermore, an effort must be made to guide students so that they can assist their peers in times of need. Perhaps this way the unhealthy lifestyle choices that are brought on by the underlying problems of stress and homesickness can be alleviated more effectively.

Adapting to university life...

Sarah McQueen sits relaxed, in a predominantly pink and orange cluttered room, cheerfully and thoughtfully sharing how she has not only remarkably learnt to adapt to her first year at Rhodes University but has also surprised herself by personally achieving in many different ways. From her academic achievements to discovering more about her true self, Sarah has experienced both terribly low and wonderfully high moments during the year.

Throughout Sarah’s high school career she remained self contained and private to her peers, “I didn’t open myself up to anyone.” Finding it difficult to make friends easily, her biggest fear was that at University she would be in the same situation except in a different place. Coming to Rhodes was a watershed in Sarah’s life. She made a solid commitment to herself, “I came to give it my all and to do my best to interact with my new environment. If people at Rhodes did not like me it would be their issue and not mine.” She says confidently while pushing back her beautifully long curly hair.

At the beginning of the year Sarah found herself allocated to Allan Gray Residence. Saying with a smile, “I was very lucky when I came to Rhodes; the first years at my res were the type of people I could feel comfortable with.”Allan Gray was the best accidental choice Sarah could ever have made. “When I applied, I simply choose one of the first two girl res’s on the list, one was Allan Gray and the other was Orial.” She says with a shrug of her shoulder. This coincidence allowed Sarah to make wonderful friends and enjoy the exciting community life of residence. This has not only taken Sarah by surprise but has also surprised her family. She has never before had solid friends as she does now. Before she knew only acquaintances, now she has true and lasting friends.

Sarah has smiled and laughed so hard she has even cried. “I loved the surprise birthday party my friends threw for me”, she says with a huge smile on her face. “I had no clue what was happening, not having had friends who would have done this before, made it all the more special.” However, Sarah has also come across tough moments which have built her in character. During the Trivarsity weekend, Sarah experienced her lowest moment. “I was terribly sick, homesick and stressed!” Being depressed caused her to sleep away most of the weekend. Being surrounded by true friends and the resident environment soon stopped Sarah from wallowing in her own sad little world. With a light in her eye she says, “It is hard, in a good way, to stay excluded at residence.” This was an amazing experience, as had she been at home, she would have remained in her sad world for many days.

The year has not only been driven by new found friends but also by academics. “I have fully applied myself to my subjects as I chose them for myself, unlike at high school where we were limited for choice.” This has given Sarah the incentive to work harder than ever before and push herself to excel in the first semester exams. Having worked hard, Sarah believes she received the marks she deserved and having come second in her Law class, she now truly believes and with determination says, “Working hard gets results! Once I’m motivated I can do anything!” Sarah has not only made herself proud but has also made her family proud. “The fact that I have achieved has helped put my family at peace with the idea of me being away from home.”

The difficulties Sarah has faced throughout her first year at Rhodes has lead her to discover her true self. She is a confident, intelligent, friendly, independent and warm natured young lady who loves life and always gives of her best. She has the remarkable ability to open up to people she has never meet before and is now her own beautiful self, independent of her loving family. One of Sarah’s favourite quotes by ‘Fall out boy’ emphasises how she is not only a survivor of first year University but is also an inspiration to all those who afraid of adapting to the new and intimidating environment of University. “The best way to make it through with heart and wrists intact is to realise that 2 out of 3's not bad.”

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=657026396

Come with us now on a journey through time and space to the life of Kezia

Resting in a chair as Kezia Swanepoel enters the room; one is instantly fascinated by her charisma. This intriguing young lady is outspoken, feisty and confident. Not the characteristics one would attribute to a woman who is simply surviving first year but rather the virtues of one who rises to the occasion like the rock star she is. Startlingly for Kezia, simply surviving is exactly what first year has been about.

“I’m not a hero, I’m so lame” says Kezia curling her back as she timidly rests her head in her lap. Most of her first year has been applied to overcoming homesickness and the harrowing but curable condition, ‘awkward turtle.’ Trying fervently to blend and generate some kind of social aptness Kezia fell into the zealous party lifestyle that is synonymous with first year. This added the dimension of stilettos, sex and shooters to Kezia’s life.
Popping The Smiths into her CD player she explains her fixation with the 80s and her tumble into a whirl of binge-drinking.

Binge-drinking is an activity many first years engage in but not many acknowledge the vicious consequences that it induces. No, I’m not talking about the brutal, nasty hangover that consumes you as you desperately stumble about your corridor seeking the aid of a Panado. Kezia singles out economic scarcity, the disintegration of friendships and the mystery that is the unidentified, drunken injury as the aftermath that prompted her to alter her drinking habits.

Kezia is fun-loving and sprightly. As she puts it, “I like to boogie”. So she tackled the first year blues by going out and drinking. “Whenever I felt unhappy, I’d drink” she admits. “I’m not some crazy alcoholic” she adds. True. Going out and drinking is a common and perfectly natural activity for many first years. Leaving the security and boundaries of home, it is expected that one explores. Expected and necessary for learning and growth. Kezia has learnt to drink responsibly and maintain her self-respect. “There were days I’d wake up and feel terrible” she says as she talks about the morning that follows a big night out and this was what pressed Kezia to change her habits slightly so that she could look back on a night out with satisfaction and not regret.

Kezia cites money as one of the reasons that she’s changed her drinking habits. “As a student one has unlimited needs and a limited budget” she explains, “sure, its fun to go out and spend but not having enough money to buy toiletries because I squandered it all on alcohol was a big wake-up call”. Learning to manage financial resources is a challenge that stumps many first years. Kezia’s approach in dealing with her budget issues can be summarised in one word, prioritise. Kezia cut down on her drinking partly after coming into the realisation that having shampoo is more essential than have a big night out.

Kezia also divulges as to how a constant drinking and partying spree has restricted her in making friends. “I’d always drink with the same people” she says pushes her dark hair off her face. She admits that she never really invested her time in getting to know people in her res and build genuine friendships but was rather mesmerised by the loud, glittering party personas of the Friars mob. She was unsure of how sincere their friendship was and if she could truly rely on them. Kezia cut down on her drinking and changed her friendship circle slightly to accommodate a lifestyle she now enjoys more. “It’s nice to have friends I can stay in with as opposed to always being under pressure to going out”, she confesses.

Lastly Kezia has learnt that it is important to embrace her individuality. Drinking was a way of freezing her personality and blending in with the crowd. She’s learnt that she does not need to blend because she is different but should rather stay true to herself. A lesson that has dawned on her as she has formed bonds with people who approve of and appreciate her for who she truly is.

“What the hell”, she exclaims as we gossip and giggle. Kezia’s matchless sense of humour and ability to bend the rules of social etiquette and make them work for her will prove to be some of her most valuable qualities. Kezia is a first year hero because she has managed strike a balance between school work, forming quality relationships and partying while maintaining her unique, bubbly personality.

Kezia’s blog http://www.lchouse.blogspot.com

The name Amy means Beloved

The name Amy means beloved or dear to the heart and so is social butterfly Amy Pattison or Emms as her friends like to call her. “Settling in at Rhodes was easy, everyone here is really nice. I’m from Johannesburg so I’m not used to everyone being that friendly,” Amy smiles as she flicks her blonde fringe back. In true Johannesburger form Amy is confident, sociable, hard working and above all her own individual. However big city confidence or not, the adjustment from high school to university can be daunting. But, as I sit there in the mid-afternoon sun chatting to Amy I quickly learn that the challenge of adjustment for first year girls can be overcome.

Like most first years heading off in to unknown territory, Amy started off her road to Rhodes University, paved in uncertainty. However, as time passed regret soon fell away and she now has a soft spot for little old Grahamstown. “I didn’t really want to come to Rhodes and was actually nervous at first but, I don’t regret it at all,” Amy explains as she reminisces on her earlier days as a first year. Stories of first encounters and uncountable nights of fun suddenly direct our conversation away from anxious feelings of new beginnings.

Being single girls, boys and random hook-ups soon make it on to our agenda. “I am looking for someone special but, I’m not sure what steps to take,” Amy confesses. As a singleton at heart Amy like, most of us would ideally like to engage in a relationship but, finding him is like trying to find that last R5 in the bottom of your unnecessarily full handbag. But, similarly once we’ve found a potential candidate, remaining free is a battle. “I’m so used to being free and doing my own thing and don’t know how I will be able to adjust to a relationship?” she elaborates. Random hook-ups however can also make for a mess because you don’t want to become easy she explains. “If you want a relationship first year is not the time,” she beams laughing.

Being a socialite however is not the key to making it through first year. “The most important thing is learning how to balance student life,” she emphasises. As a first year at university there are many adjustments to be made and time management is one of them she elaborates. Rhodent’s have always been known for their doctorates’ in drinking but, Amy realised early on that if she wanted to make a success of student life she, would have to sacrifice some of the memorable nights about town to flirt with her books.

The afternoon sun is starting to die down now and the air crisp as Amy energetically chats away. “People always usually have the wrong perception of me, I’m a lot more grounded than they think,” she explains. As a young lady in first year there is often a battle to remain an individual. Having gone to a girl’s boarding school Amy learnt early on that in order to preserve one’s individuality, time needs to be taken for one self. A time when all you have, is your thoughts. This time comes to play for Amy when she is drawing. “I love drawing, I can spend hours at a time drawing,” she says doodling in mid-air as she expresses herself.

There is a bite in the air and sun begins to set as our interview draws to a close.

Mike Mokobi is about as simple as a conundrum!

Mike Mokobi is the epitome of a successful rhodent in his first year. He has truly embraced the experiences of first year like no other and I am sure many of you reading this, either as close friends or acquaintances, will not hesitate to agree that there is definitely something very special about Mr Mokobi.

For those of you that don’t know Mike as more than just that really friendly guy that is always out having a great time with a silver lip ring and a huge smile on his face, this is for you and for those of you who know him well, this is a chance to remember just how awesome your friend is…

Michael Mokobi or ‘Uncle Mike’, as he is fondly known to some, is a born and bred Johannesburg local. He is not your average rhodent: although small in stature, he compensates in style. His short dreadlocks bounce up and down as he shows me his very unique “happy dance”, which is basically an uncoordinated and hilarious hop! Mike attended Jeppe Boy’s High School and it is no surprise that his high school experience was nothing short of successful. Although he did not have the easiest childhood, he was raised largely by his mother with whom he is extremely close.

The thing about Mike is that he has a way with words; he can not only talk his way out of any situation, he can talk his way into, around and across any situation. He is what I have termed: a “little philosopher” and he will capture your attention with his life philosophies about girls, friends, and relationships. (Ask him to explain the “friendship box” theory to you the next time you see him.) For any of you that have had the privilege of a famous “dmc” (deep and meaningful conversation) with Mike, you will know what I am talking about. He jokingly says that “a lot of people feel that they need to speak to me about their lives, and for some strange reason, I seem to always have the answers!”

I asked Mike if he could share some of his trade secrets for surviving first year at Rhodes and he was kind enough to share some of his wisdom in 7 easy steps:

Step 1: “Stick to your serenade partner, because they are the beginning of greatness.”

Step 2: “Come here with absolutely no expectations, because the more you choose to open your mind, the more opportunity you will see unfold.”

Step 3: “Give yourself a break, not everything is in your control.”

Step 4: “Smile at every girl you meet.” (Yes, Mike has one of those charmer smiles!)

Step 5: “Don’t cry about girls.”

Step 6: “Don’t even try to fit in, because people will misguide you.”

Step 7: “Work hard, play harder.”

Mike is about as simple as a conundrum to figure out. He is outgoing and crazy, but mature and reserved at the same time. Mike’s popularity and allegiance to the party was confirmed when he was chosen as Entertainment rep. for 2009 in Cullen Bowles and he promises to make 2009 just as legendary as 2008!

My Chocolate Pancake

My dearest Chocolate Pancake,

I’m assuming you are at present on route to Rhodes and about to embark on the next chapter in your life. The need to constantly stay in motion is and will always be our greatest vice and virtue. No place is home and your search will continue long after this but, for now you have to stay put.

Embrace your anxious feelings but, don’t let them get the best of you. The adjustment will be tough but, in order for there to be change there needs to be friction. The end result will be of more value than you had anticipated.

Learn to conform to order, timetables will run your day to day life. Lectures, exams, assignments and deadlines will be the thread that keeps it all together. Don’t bunk, or at least try. After all you are here to gain an education, so stay committed. Work hard and with enthusiasm. Knowledge however can not just be gained through readings and theory. You know all to well that personal experience and life itself is the supreme teacher. So make a conscious effort take it all in.

Friendships and connections have always been of highest value to you. But, life recently dealt you a bad hand in love and you’ve lost faith. Don’t despair; you will soon discover that no hand is perfect. So take the time to really get to know those who cross your path. They will help fill the dull Eastern Cape days with light and laughter.

Laugh. Dance...dance all night long and do the little things that bring you pleasure and growth.

Rainbow coloured skies and Café del Mar dreams.
La Schandre

When the party's over. . .

Dear younger self

Soon you’ll leave home; you’ll abandon the food, places and people you love to be tossed into a constellation of books, booze, boys and bumpy relationships. I understand that you are elated by this prospect and I admire the passion you embrace this new experience with. I hope that my letter does not tarnish your excitement but encourages it instead.

You’re at a merry party; you hate this merry party. He’s there. You find his presence most unnerving so you veil your anxiety with alcohol. Your friends distract you as good friends should and you dance and chat like nothing is wrong. Eventually you start enjoying yourself. Everything is buzzing; the atmosphere is light and liberating. The bubbles in your glass keep this sensation alive. The DJ’s playing your song and you’re feeling good. You leave for some fresh air and you’re greeted by the smell of fried food. You cannot resist. You order and wait. As you’re munching on your chicken burger you decide that you’re ‘over it’ and make your way to the Rhodetrip bus. Suddenly you’re in your room and solitude creeps through you. The party’s over.

I have just described the ‘night out’ you are likely to experience during your first year because this haze of social delight is very telling of your encounters at Rhodes. You will experiment with alcohol and crave acceptance. You will also make mistakes and regret them the next morning for example, wearing heels out. You will explore, fall in love and form wonderful friendships. You also will be bombarded by information on surviving your first year so I’ll try to keep it simple.

Socrates says it best, “I know nothing except the fact of my own ignorance.” Accept that you don’t know everything and it is impossible to be completely prepared for your first year. Keep an open mind and zeal for exploration and learning. Participate in things you enjoy. Be kind to others. Accept that not everything is for you. Value yourself and make decisions that please you because when the party’s over you’re all you’ll have left.

Much love, peace and respect

Roxanne

Let me tell you a secret...

Dear Annie

I am writing this letter while I reflect on your first year out of high school. The more I look back, the more I realise how different it is to how you are imagining and dreaming it to be. Let me tell you a little secret. Surprise! You are at Rhodes University, and wait for it, you are studying Journalism! I know this is quite a shock for you; you didn’t see that coming did you! I don’t even know how we ended up here, we just did, but trust me it is a good thing and you will really enjoy it.

Your first year at university will be filled with new surroundings, fantastic friends, exciting moments and sharp learning curves around every corner. You will laugh, you will smile, but you will also come across tough moments, which you will get through, as you always do. Most of all I want to focus on a specific aspect of your first year. This is the homesickness you will feel.

We both know that you are independent enough not to let homesickness get to you too much, but as the weeks of the terms pass by you will slowly begin to miss interacting and being with your family back home. However, you will be able to deal with these moments and build in character at the same time. What I really want to emphasise is something which took me slightly by surprise. Living in residence made me suddenly realised how much I love wide open spaces. Being confined to a small area of a small town started to actually bug me as I longed for a change of scenery and to be able to stare out into distant views. During the year I dreamt of taking long walks in the beautiful area in which we are fortunate to live back home. This aspect of homesickness took me by surprise as it was the last thing I thought I would really miss when I was having the time of my life at Rhodes.

I know that you already appreciate the beautiful countryside in which you live, but now you can take even more advantage of it. With regards to all the other aspects of first year you will cope just fine. Having been through it all, I believe that it is more exciting to face the unexpected as this is how you will learn and grow.

Most of all remember to have fun!

With love
Annie 

Letter to my younger self

Dearest Jovan

As you enter this new and daunting phase of your life, I wish to impart some guidance that will prepare you for our journey ahead.

I am not going to warn you about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, the temptations of boys and sex or the inevitable homesickness that you will initially feel. I am not going to discuss the importance of your academics or the weight gain, trivially referred to as “first year spread”. Instead, I want to prepare you for a certain unexpected feeling that cripples you in the first few months of university, it is somewhat of a phenomenon that nobody seems to warn first year varsity students about.

This feeling is the feeling of sheer inadequacy. Most varsity students were used to being the “big fish in the small pond”; they were generally top of their classes and derogatorily called “over-achievers” in high school. As you enter varsity, you quickly notice that the “crème da la crème” of high school, just as you were, have all gathered at university, just as you have.

You begin to doubt and question yourself and every piece of praise that you ever received in high school. Panic pushes promptly past reality and you fall prey to your insecurities. For the first few months of university you will feel paralysed and overwhelmed.

The most important piece of advice that I can give you is to push past these insecurities and self-doubt. These feelings slowly fade with time as you become more comfortable and confident. Many students in the past have allowed this phenomenon to get the better of them and it has crippled them to the point of dropping out. I plead that you do not fall victim to it as your life after conquering these insecurities is well worth the battle.

Academics aside, first year is about the nights you won’t remember with the friends that you will never forget. Embrace the experience!

Stilettos, Sex and Shooters!

Much love
Jovy-Wovy xoxo