My Chocolate Pancake

My dearest Chocolate Pancake,

I’m assuming you are at present on route to Rhodes and about to embark on the next chapter in your life. The need to constantly stay in motion is and will always be our greatest vice and virtue. No place is home and your search will continue long after this but, for now you have to stay put.

Embrace your anxious feelings but, don’t let them get the best of you. The adjustment will be tough but, in order for there to be change there needs to be friction. The end result will be of more value than you had anticipated.

Learn to conform to order, timetables will run your day to day life. Lectures, exams, assignments and deadlines will be the thread that keeps it all together. Don’t bunk, or at least try. After all you are here to gain an education, so stay committed. Work hard and with enthusiasm. Knowledge however can not just be gained through readings and theory. You know all to well that personal experience and life itself is the supreme teacher. So make a conscious effort take it all in.

Friendships and connections have always been of highest value to you. But, life recently dealt you a bad hand in love and you’ve lost faith. Don’t despair; you will soon discover that no hand is perfect. So take the time to really get to know those who cross your path. They will help fill the dull Eastern Cape days with light and laughter.

Laugh. Dance...dance all night long and do the little things that bring you pleasure and growth.

Rainbow coloured skies and Café del Mar dreams.
La Schandre

When the party's over. . .

Dear younger self

Soon you’ll leave home; you’ll abandon the food, places and people you love to be tossed into a constellation of books, booze, boys and bumpy relationships. I understand that you are elated by this prospect and I admire the passion you embrace this new experience with. I hope that my letter does not tarnish your excitement but encourages it instead.

You’re at a merry party; you hate this merry party. He’s there. You find his presence most unnerving so you veil your anxiety with alcohol. Your friends distract you as good friends should and you dance and chat like nothing is wrong. Eventually you start enjoying yourself. Everything is buzzing; the atmosphere is light and liberating. The bubbles in your glass keep this sensation alive. The DJ’s playing your song and you’re feeling good. You leave for some fresh air and you’re greeted by the smell of fried food. You cannot resist. You order and wait. As you’re munching on your chicken burger you decide that you’re ‘over it’ and make your way to the Rhodetrip bus. Suddenly you’re in your room and solitude creeps through you. The party’s over.

I have just described the ‘night out’ you are likely to experience during your first year because this haze of social delight is very telling of your encounters at Rhodes. You will experiment with alcohol and crave acceptance. You will also make mistakes and regret them the next morning for example, wearing heels out. You will explore, fall in love and form wonderful friendships. You also will be bombarded by information on surviving your first year so I’ll try to keep it simple.

Socrates says it best, “I know nothing except the fact of my own ignorance.” Accept that you don’t know everything and it is impossible to be completely prepared for your first year. Keep an open mind and zeal for exploration and learning. Participate in things you enjoy. Be kind to others. Accept that not everything is for you. Value yourself and make decisions that please you because when the party’s over you’re all you’ll have left.

Much love, peace and respect

Roxanne

Let me tell you a secret...

Dear Annie

I am writing this letter while I reflect on your first year out of high school. The more I look back, the more I realise how different it is to how you are imagining and dreaming it to be. Let me tell you a little secret. Surprise! You are at Rhodes University, and wait for it, you are studying Journalism! I know this is quite a shock for you; you didn’t see that coming did you! I don’t even know how we ended up here, we just did, but trust me it is a good thing and you will really enjoy it.

Your first year at university will be filled with new surroundings, fantastic friends, exciting moments and sharp learning curves around every corner. You will laugh, you will smile, but you will also come across tough moments, which you will get through, as you always do. Most of all I want to focus on a specific aspect of your first year. This is the homesickness you will feel.

We both know that you are independent enough not to let homesickness get to you too much, but as the weeks of the terms pass by you will slowly begin to miss interacting and being with your family back home. However, you will be able to deal with these moments and build in character at the same time. What I really want to emphasise is something which took me slightly by surprise. Living in residence made me suddenly realised how much I love wide open spaces. Being confined to a small area of a small town started to actually bug me as I longed for a change of scenery and to be able to stare out into distant views. During the year I dreamt of taking long walks in the beautiful area in which we are fortunate to live back home. This aspect of homesickness took me by surprise as it was the last thing I thought I would really miss when I was having the time of my life at Rhodes.

I know that you already appreciate the beautiful countryside in which you live, but now you can take even more advantage of it. With regards to all the other aspects of first year you will cope just fine. Having been through it all, I believe that it is more exciting to face the unexpected as this is how you will learn and grow.

Most of all remember to have fun!

With love
Annie 

Letter to my younger self

Dearest Jovan

As you enter this new and daunting phase of your life, I wish to impart some guidance that will prepare you for our journey ahead.

I am not going to warn you about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, the temptations of boys and sex or the inevitable homesickness that you will initially feel. I am not going to discuss the importance of your academics or the weight gain, trivially referred to as “first year spread”. Instead, I want to prepare you for a certain unexpected feeling that cripples you in the first few months of university, it is somewhat of a phenomenon that nobody seems to warn first year varsity students about.

This feeling is the feeling of sheer inadequacy. Most varsity students were used to being the “big fish in the small pond”; they were generally top of their classes and derogatorily called “over-achievers” in high school. As you enter varsity, you quickly notice that the “crème da la crème” of high school, just as you were, have all gathered at university, just as you have.

You begin to doubt and question yourself and every piece of praise that you ever received in high school. Panic pushes promptly past reality and you fall prey to your insecurities. For the first few months of university you will feel paralysed and overwhelmed.

The most important piece of advice that I can give you is to push past these insecurities and self-doubt. These feelings slowly fade with time as you become more comfortable and confident. Many students in the past have allowed this phenomenon to get the better of them and it has crippled them to the point of dropping out. I plead that you do not fall victim to it as your life after conquering these insecurities is well worth the battle.

Academics aside, first year is about the nights you won’t remember with the friends that you will never forget. Embrace the experience!

Stilettos, Sex and Shooters!

Much love
Jovy-Wovy xoxo